Sometimes I Relapse

It’s funny how life will teach you so many lessons about you. It’s as though you are receiving constant feedback about where you are on your path. The last few days I have to admit were quite difficult to navigate. The days were loaded with anger , disbelief and outright disappointment. I struggled for days on end saying “what could this possibly be teaching me it’s wrong all wrong.” I had absolutely no clarity what so ever. The past shot up like darts. I kept reading, asking , listening to podcasts, and sermons. Over the last few days themes started to emerge. If you ever get the same message over and over again, start listening. So here is what I found, the things you thought you got over you didn’t. It clearly explained to me the areas I have been unforgiving. Have I done and said the right things…yes. If a situation arises and I feels like a scab has been picked off and all the past comes back and floods your mind, there are 2 things you’ll find at the bottom resentment and unforgiveness. How can I be sure? When I look back at other events and I feel nothing about them I know I have released them and myself; and that’s what is should look like. Does it mean your hostile or cold to others no, you have no thoughts or judgments about them at all….they are of no effect anymore. It became clear when I read Hebrews 12:15 “make sure no one falls short of the grace of God and that no root of bitterness springs up causing trouble or defiling many”. Psalms 1:1 ” Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers.” Sitting to long and taking unwise advice will water a seed that needs to be removed. My prayer for you is that you have been surrounded by people who will challenge your thoughts and emotions and provide clarity along the way… and I have been greatly blessed in this area (shout out to my councel). Question anybody who takes your side a little to quickly as this may contribute to the inflammation and still end with no resolution. The second message I got was you haven’t been protecting yourself, how so you many ask. I was getting a repeated message about putting on the full armor of God. Ephesians 6:11 ” put on the whole armor of God that you may be able to stand the against the wiles of the devil.” I’m gonna paraphrase this next part the full armor is the breastplate the helmet the belt and the sword. Quick break here guard your heart so you don’t operate from a place of emotions which in turn affects your thoughts. Be in the word as it is your defence. I have to admit some days I simply forget to get dressed…..Wishing you all a blessed day!!

1 thought on “Sometimes I Relapse

  1. Get dressed. Yes, I definitely go out completely naked sometimes and I’m a fairly modest person! 🙂
    Great entry. I’m glad that clarity has come upon your eyes. I need some of that right now. On the topic of forgiveness… sometimes the pain/bitterness is so deep that in our own strength and by our own will is not enough. Sometimes we need to ask the holy spirit to intervene on our behalf — asking to help for our hearts to heal and to truly forgive. I remember I had to do this once when I thought I completely forgave. The weight of my unforgiveness was just too heavy for me to bear. I sat in church and pleaded to God to take it away and help me. He did. Right in that moment. Instantaneous. The view I had of those who wronged me changed completely right there and I looked at them with eyes of compassion and that they were just human’s who made a mistake. As humans we mess up. I think where the devil can get a foothold is when people very close to us (whom we trust wholeheartedly) can be those very people that can cause a lot of hurt and then in turn we expect that much more from them because of how close they are forgetting that they are just humans at the end of the day. I experienced God’s grace and deliverance from an unforgiving heart. The freedom felt was incredible and still remains to this day. God is totally the answer.
    Whoa, sorry I wrote a novel. I love this post and glad you are coming into a clearing. The inflammation comment made me chuckle.
    Have a blessed day and thanks,


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